Faithfully: Past, Present and Future
by chiquislover25
Summary: She really didn't want to sing this song. The memories that came with it were strong. But he convinced her to do it. Because now this song was her past, present and future.
1. Chapter 1

_**This is my first story. I liked the show for years and really liked the way it ended. I was listening to my Ipod and this song came up and this story came to my head. I do not own the song Faithfully by Journey or the characters.**_

She hears the intro starting to play as she waits in the back of the auditorium. She has no idea why she agreed to sing this song. Her friends had begged her and she had repeatedly said no, knowing that she couldn't get through the song without breaking down, without remembering _him._ It had been years but even now, hearing that song, caused a familiar pain in her chest.

It isn't until **he** talks to her that she agrees to it.

They are here honoring _him,_ a bit more than ten years since the glee club began, since _he_ helped convince Mr. Schue to stay. They are renaming the auditorium after him and are planning to do a group number with everyone in the club but first they're singing songs that were close to him, songs he sang or that he loved. Everyone wanted her to do this song, to recall the relationship that they had but she refused. Remembering her past, remembering _him,_ made her feel like she was hurting her present.

They had talked about that day, what it felt to watch her sing that song with _him._ And she knows that it was painful to watch, to see her sing about loving _him,_ to see her move on so quickly after they had ended, the entire time wishing she was singing with **him** instead. So when her friends request that she sing that song she refuses, she won't make **him** suffer through that again. He has already done so much for her, has accepted so much of her past, that she can't put him in a situation where he could believe the fears that she has been trying to dissipate for years. The fears that **he** isn't enough, that **he** was just a backup, a consolation prize, a place holder because _he_ wasn't around anymore.

It isn't until **he** talks to her that she agrees to it.

 **He** lets her know that he knows now that she loves **him** , that she has chosen **him** to be her present and her future. He tells her that he has come to terms with the fact that a part of her will always love _him_ , that _he_ was her past and that he couldn't do anything to change it. He even agreed to help her get through the second half of the song.

So here she was now hearing the intro piano notes to the song. She recalls telling them both to break a leg and hearing them both respond with "I love you", right before disappearing to take their positions. As she waits he hears _his_ voice sing the first familiar lines.

 _ **"Highway run. Into the midnight sun. Wheels go round and round. You're on my mind."**_

 _ **"Restless hearts. Sleep alone tonight. Sending all my love. Along the wire"**_ she hears her younger self sing in her first regionals competition.

 **He** had described it as being masochistic, keeping a recording of the performance to watch her sing, to remind himself of what he had lost. He offers it to Artie so that he can project it for the audience during performance.

 _ **"And they say that the road ain't no place to start a family. But, right down the line it's been you and me. And loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be"**_

She hears their voice melding together. She remembers the emotions she felt and how well they sounded together. She remembers seeing _his_ face as she made her way down towards _him_ , the smile _he_ gave her, the love she felt from _him_ through the lyrics.

 _ **"Oh boy, you stand by me,"** _ she hears herself sing to him, knowing how much she meant those words and the words that followed.

 ** _"I'm forever yours. Faithfully,"_ ** she hears how the video softly dies down and the band starts playing live.

She knows that her queue is coming up. She reminds herself that when she starts to make her way down the steps a different man was going to be there singing with her, smiling at her, pouring his love through the lyrics. A different man, yes, but one that loved her just as much or possibly more than the last.

 _ **"Circus life. Under the big top world,"** _ she sings out looking to her right. She watches as **he** also enters the auditorium down the opposite steps. She sees the soft smile he has on his face and the understanding in his eyes.

 ** _"We all need the clowns to make us smile,"_ ** they both sing together. She marvels on how amazing they sound together. He once said that they make beautiful music together, that they always had, and she couldn't agree more.

 ** _"Oh! Through space and time,"_ ** she sings on.

 _ **"Through space and time,"** _ he sings back to her as they make their way to the stage.

As she remembers the next lyrics, she realizes how well they fit with them. Their situation. They connect with these lyrics in a way that she never had with _him_.

 _ **"Always another show."** _ Eight shows a week is not something easy to work with but they manage to do so every day.

 _ **"Wondering where I am, lost without you."** _ He had always told her how lost he felt the years that they had not been together. And she told him how lost she had felt after NYADA, Funny Girl, That's So Rachel… It wasn't until he came back into her life that she managed to find her path with his help.

 _ **"And being apart ain't easy on this love affair."** _ It really wasn't. Neither one of them could stand being apart from each other for more than a few hours. When his production went on tour and they were away from each other it was unbearable for her.

 _ **"Two strangers learned to fall again. I got the joy of rediscovering you"** _

They really did.

The two small lyric changes were her idea. She wanted to express how true those lyrics were to them. To show that they really had fallen in love again, after everything that had happened between them, after everything she went through, all the pain, all the sorrow. Everything had once again brought them together. They got to know each other again, got to see the adults that they had become and finally got a real chance at a relationship, with nothing and no one standing in their way. She is brought out of her musings by his voice.

 ** _"Oh girl, you stand by me."_ He** sings to her with all the love that she knows **he** has for her. She sings the next lyric knowing that even though it's a different man she's singing with, she means it just as much as she did when she sang it before.

 _ **"I'm forever your, Faithfully."**_

They make their way onto the stage. The video to the first regionals competition comes back on and all four of their voices come together.

 _ **"Oh oh oh oh. Oh oh oh oh oh. Oh oh oh oh oh oh...!"**_ she reaches center stage with **him** and listens to the two men of her life sing the next word with all the truth and love that they both felt for her.

 ** _"Faithfully."_ ** The rest of the original New Directions appear behind them and join in singing

 ** _"Faithfully. I'm still yours,"_** she sings with her younger self. The younger singing to her past and her singing to her present and future. As they harmonize with the rest of the choir **he** makes his way to her and holds her, placing his hand on where their future is growing. _**"I'm still yours!"** _ she sings to him. Finally as the song is coming to an end the video once again ends representing her letting go of her past, letting go of _him_ , to focus on her present and on their growing future.

 _ **"I'm still yours! Faithfully…"**_


	2. Chapter 2

I wasn't planning on doing this but it just came to my mind to add this to the story. I apologize in advance for errors and if its not good.

**I was looking over it and noticed that the last two lines weren't copied over when I posted it. So I decided to "fix" it and put them in. I again apologize, I'm just getting used to this 

"They want me to sing a song," she tells him as they're in their kitchen preparing dinner.

"Oh? What song?" he asks turning his back to her as he reaches for some plates.

"Faithfully," she says barely above a whisper. She sees him tense up and freeze for just a second that if she hadn't known him as well as she did she wouldn't have noticed. "I already told them no," she quickly clarifies.

She watches as he regains his composure and turns to face her with his show face on. It's perfect, as it's always been, the only thing to give away what he's feeling are his eyes. Those eyes which she can get lost in for hours, the ones only she can read, the ones he is making sure are not making contact with hers.

"What are you thinking?" she asks him as he places the plates on their table.

"Nothing," he answers automatically. She grabs his hand and stops him from leaving.

"Talk to me. What's going on in that head of yours?" she tells him gently.

"Nothing really," he tells her, running his thumb against her hand. He leans down and kisses her head. He then kneels down and kisses her small baby bump, as has become custom since they discovered that a little someone was growing in there.

She remembers telling him about it, after taking multiple tests to confirm it. She had never seen so much love and happiness in his face in all the years that they had known each other. The only times that it had come close was their wedding day and the first night they spent together.

"Jess, how long is it going to take for you to be completely honest with me?" she asks as she runs her fingers through his hair. She hears a small sigh come from him. She knows that may have been a low blow as she knows that being honest with her is something he overcompensates ever since high school. He stands back up and sits on the chair next to her, finally looking into her eyes. "Talk to me please," she pleads as she cups his cheek and he leans into her touch.

"You know it hurt to watch. The entire time you sang that song with him I was wishing it was me. I regretted doing what I did to you more than ever while I saw you sing that song," he says softly and looks down at his lap and she places her hand on hers. "But I don't want to be the reason for you not to sing that song. It meant a lot to you, to both of you, and you should sing it."

"I don't want to put you in that situation," Rachel tells him she touches his knee. "I love you and I don't want to put you in a situation where you're going to relive something that hurt you."

"You should still do it," he says looking at her again. "The entire reason we're going to McKinley is to remember him, to honor his memory and that song is one of the biggest ones you two had. Just like we had 'Hello' you two had 'Faithfully' and there's nothing I can do to change that. So I've just come to accept it," he says as she looks down at her hands. "Hey," he says softly as he lifts her chin and makes her look at him. "I know you love me. I know that you've chosen me to spend your life with and possibly the next one as well, but you loved him. And a part of you always will and nothing we do will ever change that, Rach," he says to her.

"I don't know if I can," she says with tears building in her eyes. "When I hear that song…" she pauses as she tries to control the tears, but is unable to, "it just reminds me that he's not here anymore," she says through sobs. Jesse immediately moves to hold her as she cries. "I love our life and I love being with you but I wish he was still alive, happy somewhere making a life for himself, but alive."

She cries for a while more as Jesse just holds her and lets her let her emotions out. When she finally calms down she pulls away from his embrace and looks at him.

"I can't sing his verses," she tells him and he understands. Both of them have the same issue with 'Hello', neither one can sing the other's verses because it simply feels wrong.

"Then don't," Jesse says softly.

"How am supposed sing the song then?" she asks.

"We can figure it out, we have time," he says rubbing her arms in comfort.

"We… we didn't sing the second part of the song," she says as she wipes her tears. "Could… could you…"

"Could I what?" he asks.

"Sing that part with me," she says as she watches his eyes open a bit in surprise. "You don't have to I'd understand if you didn't…" she starts ranting and Jesse stops her with a soft kiss.

"I'll do whatever will make this easier for you," he tells her with a soft smile. "If me singing the second part of the song will help you then I'll do it."

"It fits us," she says as she takes their hands and entwines them. "The second part of the song fits you and me almost perfectly."

She watches as he runs the lyrics through his head and sees a soft smile form on his face. He takes her left hand and kisses right above her wedding band.

"It does," he says softly.

"Now I have to figure out how to get through the first half of the song," she says in a near whisper. He gently kisses her forehead and leaves to their room, leaving her confused. When he comes back he has his laptop with him. "What are you going to do?" she asks.

"I'm going to show you something that might help you get through it," he says as he opens up his computer, pulls up a video and starts playing it.

"Is that…" Rachel starts hearing the familiar melody playing.

"The recording of those regionals," he confirms. "You might consider it being masochistic but I couldn't stop watching it. It was the last time I was going to see you again. But it was mostly to remind myself how much I really lost and how undeserving I was…" he admits as Finn's voice is heard through the speakers.

Jesse watches as Rachel's eyes fill up with tears again at watching her younger self and her first love sing together. He takes her hand and squeezes it to let her know that he's there with her.

"We can give this to Artie and make him project it," Jesse tells her as the next number starts. "That way you don't have sing this part. He feels her hug him as tight as she can.

"Thank you," she says into his ear. "Thank you for doing this for me."

"When is it going to get through your head that I'd do anything for you?" he says making her giggle a bit as he hugs her back.

"I love you," she says from within his embrace. She feels him release the tension that he had and squeeze her a bit tighter.

"I love you too."


End file.
